forget what we're told (before we get too old)

my toenails have become so black i'm surprised they're not receiving rascist comments from my fingernails. not that my fingernails are particularly glistening either, but rascim's like that.

perhaps it is not true that everyone has secrets. i have determined this after using that assumption as an excuse not to answer particularly probing questions and being told "i dont have any secrets!" indignantly in return. i suppose there are always things you won't know about people, but they arent secrets, they are just buried, unasked. i, however, do have secrets, and i am desperately in love with every one of them.

huh. strange to find i actually forgot how it's like to feel like this.

anyway, strange attention-seeking crypticism aside, i must confess this to you. i really hate movies that have bad endings.

not hate, hate, because i will still probably watch them over and over, but still. STILL. i mean, after one and a half hours or so of people falling in love or being happy or finding their secret talent, how else am i supposed to feel when they just die? is there seriously no hope for mankind, because it seems like every time something good happens, somebody somewhere dies.

or even worse, the whole movie is just conflict conflict conflict and then in the end, they die anyway. (a la , the most depressing book in the entire world, "Queen of Solitude", or something like that. yes, after typing the title, i'm wondering why i read it too.)

like in braveheart, the princess falls in love with wallace, then they are separated etc etc long long long period of longing and sadness and oh-why-cant-you-just-leave-gromit-and-stay-with-me-wallace? and then finally...

he gets beheaded.

what? WHAT?

(disclaimer: i actually never watched the movie. someone told me the story. so maybe i'm wrong, but generally, you know what i mean.)

of course, if movies always ended happy, it would be boring and predictable, and you wouldnt have that gut-wrenching whats-going-to-happen? feeling. perhaps all these movies are thrown in to keep us star gazing watching.

meanwhile, in my sister's room, holly is strumming rather meloncholy on her guitar. (i dont know if that's grammatically correct, but meloncholyly sounded a bit much, even for the sake of good engrish.) i shall try to be supportive of my sister.